Inane Rantings

Another week of next to no updates. You'll be happy to know that things should improve slightly this week. I'm hoping to get a couple of posts done early, and things should be back to normal in about a week or two.

Some good news, the NFL is going to be on Five on Sunday nights, this season. Of course this means the return of everyone's favourite NFL expert Mike Carlson. The man who puts the pun in pundit. However, if there is no Monday Night Football, what about the highlights?

Something which I read earlier this week, which lead to an interesting question. How did we end up drinking milk? Who in their right mind decided that it was a good idea?

On Saturday I went to the Challenge Cup final with a friend and one of my god sons. I was impressed with the new Wembley (nice stadium, shame about the Giants), even if it does look very bleak from outside. Lots of leg room and the place just seemed to feel impressive.

The other impressive thing was how easy it was to get away. Jonathan, Thomas and myself went by train and my worry was that it would take a while to get back into London. No problems, as everything seemed to be quite well organised. It'll be interesting to see how it handles a bigger crowd when the NFL come calling in eight weeks time.

If I thought that the last couple of weeks were manic wait until this one. Whingeing staff back after seven weeks off, wondering why everything isn't how they wanted it. I might wear my special T-shirt tomorrow, it says on it "Don't ask me any silly questions, as being told to f@%k off may be considered offensive".

As if they would notice!

Bye for now

Hello fellow basball nuts.

For those of you who didn't know Eric Bruntlett of the Phillies completed a rare unassisted triple play (Getting all three outs during one play) on Sunday.

So how special is an unassisted triple play? Well, there have only been fifteen in over a hundred years in MLB. I can't really think of an analogy in other sports, probably a 155 break in snooker.

Before a smart alec writes, but a maximum break in snooker is 147. If the break starts from a free ball after a foul, the ball you pot first is counted as an extra red. Ask a silly question...

I don't have too many stories of my softball playing days, but I'm going to share with you my favourite.

A few years back when I played for the London Electricity Ohm Runners, I turned one myself.

Normally I played first base in the field, but due to circumstances beyond my control I ended up playing third base. This was during our first season playing in division two of the City Bankers League. At the time we were a little bit out of our depth, but we plugged along and had a great time.

We were playing at Hurlingham Park (Fairly close to Parsons Green in West London) and things weren't going to well for your local heroes. There are runners on second and third, and the oppositions big hitter comes up to bat (Each time before then he crushed the ball into the next postcode). Pitch comes and there is an almighty whack of metal on ball.

Next thing I know, there is white blur heading towards me at slightly slower than the speed of sound. In the interests of self preservation, my glove goes to my face, and I catch the ball. It was either catch it, or spend the rest of my life eating soup from a straw. OUT ONE

Both runners went at the sound of the hit. The runner from second base stops in front of me to turn around and looks at me. I strech out my still throbbing glove hand and tag him. OUT TWO

The runner from third base has at this stage already got to home place but she had to turn back (it is a mixed league). I make the fiv steps to third base, before she turns around and she is forced out. OUT THREE

My team erupts like we had won the world series. Everyone (including me) were shocked by what happened. I would say that this leads to a valiant comback and famous victory for the beloved Ohm Runners (where all victories are famous) but it didn't. But it was very cheap for me at the pub after the game.

I'll tell you the story some other time, of me chasing some rather attractive young lady around Regent's park trying to tag her out.

Bye for now

Just in case you were wondering, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. This week has been quite challenging. I've been working late most evenings, and in an effort to save my eyes, I haven't been using the computer a home. In fact, I haven't even used it this week, until now.

I was supposed to go to Leicester this weekend, but thankfully I didn't, I needed the rest. I've got one more week to survive. I should make it, but I'll be glad when it is all over.

The one night I left at a reasonable hour, I met up with a friend for tea. Showing how little I've been walking recently, I got a blister on my big toe after walking her to Liverpool St from Leicester Square.

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only one who wants to get anything done. We ordered some new computers about eight weeks ago, I found out this week that they haven't built them yet. Between that, and the photocopier people, and the phone people...

I spent a while watching some recorded baseball, and one of the games were doing tutorials on how to score the game. I like to do my own scoring, keeps my fingers busy. I found a program to do the scoring for me. I did some playing with it, but I like my spreadsheet better (I've only spent three years perfecting it).

This week has also been results week. I'm sorry, but the grading is messed up when so many people get A and B grades. I don't think that adding grades makes a difference, you need to have distributed grades. Once you've decided to give someone a pass, the grades should be used to differentiate between the good and the great students.

Other than that, things have been quiet. Next week may be as busy as this one.

Bye for now

Work last week was a pain, just because I tried to cram so much in during one week. I'm probably going to have to spend a couple of days this week sorting out user admin. What joy.

All this meant, that by the end of the week I was both quite tired, and quite cranky. I'm looking forward to having nothing to do next weekend, I might get a rest then. So nothing much to report for the remainder of the week that was.

As you've already read, I've spent the weekend in Oxford. Journey up was a bit of a mare. Left London at 10:15pm and got stuck in traffic three times! How does that happen on a Friday night, that late? I counted four sets of roadworks on the same road, madness.

One of the problems with going to Oxford is going into bookshops. I'm going through a phase at the moment of not being able to leave a bookshop without buyin something. I ended up buying four books. I'm reading first a book by Al Franken (now senator) caled "The Truth". I'm having problems putting it down (hence the late post).

The other main problem, is punting. I declined on this occasion, my sense of balance is getting worse. This didn't stop two of my friends falling in. See, I woulnd't have been out of place.

The highlight of visiting Oxford, is G&D's ice cream parlour. I had two visits over the weekend (It was shut before I got there Friday or else it would have been three). Very good, have I ever mentioned that I like ice cream?

Bye for now

I'm one of those annoying people who get up far too early in the morning. So I've always had the habit of getting to work well early (around 7).

It is therefore really easy for me to end up doing too many hours at work.When I worked in the city, I was known as both the first person into work and the last one out.

One thing I've begun to appreciate over the last two years is that I have a life to live as well. I'm not in the position to put things off to later on. It isn't living for the moment, but living.

My job is quite nice whereby it is very rare to be put under pressure to overwork. I don't believe in leaving a job half done, so will put in the extra hours when need be. And I even get appreciated for it.

This week has been manic, as it is the down week at work. We don't guarantee an IT service, and do all the major work.

It has been funny, but all this week my boss has been making subtle hints about me going to work during the weekend. I'm meant to be in Oxford for a reunion, so my answer has been a consistant "I'm not available."

So Friday comes along and I'm finally finishing off at half past nine. Enough is done as not to affect the main staff for next week. When the hint is put to me again.

Option 1 was to go home and go to work and forget about the reunion. Option 2 was to go home and then head to Oxford early Saturday morning. Option 3 was just to head off to Oxford.

I knew that if I had stayed at home Friday night I wasn't going to get to Oxford. So it is either work or life?

For your information, I'm writing this in Oxford. I got here at just after half past midnight. Sometimes it is simply better to have a life.

Bye for now

I was planning on getting my hair cut today after work. I was asked last week if I was growing my hair. It wasn't as if I'm growing it, I've just been unable to get to the barbers.

So tonight I was going to give myself enough time to get there, well that was the plan anyway. Get there by quarter to seven, just before it closed.

I left work at six and the barbers were open when the bus went past. I had to get some cash out so went to the cashpoint, and by the time I got back it was closed.

Ever had a feeling that things just aren't going your way? With everything that has been going at work this week I didn't feel that happy. So in an effort to cheer myself up I had tea at KFC.

So I was wandering through town to get a bus home. When I passed a barbers which was open, I didn't realise that it was even there (shows how observant I am). So I ended up getting my hair cut afterall.

I feel comfortable going to good old fashioned barbers. A bit like Desmonds (now, how many people remember that), only with hair actually getting cut. But this one seemed more stylish, not an old bloke in sight.
Even the barbers themselves were women, and no I didn't end up in a hair salon by mistake.

So someting good came out of it.

Bye for now

In a funeral home: Drive carefully - we can wait.

In a no smoking area: If we see smoke we will assume that you are on fire, and we will take appropriate action.

In a music library: Bach in a minuet.

On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On a maternity room door: Push, Push, Push.

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment.

Outside a radiator repair shop: The best place in town to take a leak.

At a psychic's hotline: Don't phone us, we'll phone you.

On a fence outside a house: Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive.

On the door of a computer store: Back in a Byte.

In a dry cleaner's window: Drop your pants here.

In a maternity ward: No children allowed.

In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Well, I've gone and done it again. I've signed up for top up TV (actually just for ESPN but it still makes me feel dirty).

I think the temptation of missing out on the baseball was a little too much for me. I'm not bothered by the football side of things, I've really only got it for the American Sports.

You see, when my old DVR recorder died I bought myself a DVR box with a card slot, and I had a bit of an argument with Top Up TV. They were running a special offer where by you got a months free subscription for Setanta when you signed up. So muggins here signed up.

Well, to cut a long story short I got charged immediately. I wasn't happy about it, and when I phoned them about it I was told that it was the second month that was free. So I left it.

Sure enough, the subscription went out again a month later, so I got on the phone and was told that the second month you would be charge an admin charge for setting my account up. Surprise, surprise this was the same as a monthly subscription.

I wasn't impressed and asked to cancel my account. I was then told that there was a minimum subscription period. At that point I lost my sense of humour. I explained that none of this was told to me when I signed up but that wasn't Setanta's fault as they didn't sell it to me. So they had no control over their agents (in this case TopUp TV).

Well, before I bore you with the details, I complained and then threatened to take it to the small claims court. At that point, they offered an apology and my money back. I left them never to see them again.

You have to think how they stayed in business for so long.

So I'm having ago, just for the baseball. I just hope that I do better this time.

Bye for now

There is an expression, I’ll leave the origins of it to someone more qualified than myself, which states that a change is as good as a rest.

This weekend, I went and visited a friend of mine who lives up in St Helens. I went up there with the purpose of going to the Challenge Cup semi between St Helens and my old stomping ground Huddersfield (Fartown, sorry Huddersfield won it 24 – 14).

It was a trip which was in great contrast with ones I normally did. Matt, whom I was visiting, lives a fairly prayerful life (well compared to most people anyway). As I’ve mentioned before I go through phases, but we did the Angelus three times (even though I forgot how to do it, once), with each of the main hours. I would say that by the end I was prayed out, but it was quite refreshing.

We ended up, saying evening prayer after the match while sitting on a grass banking while waiting for the bulk of the traffic to make their way out of the ground.

Sitting uncomfortably on the train back, I got to thinking…

Actually, I’m going off on a tangent for a sec. I noticed that the size of the over head rack seems to be different depending on where in the carriage you were on the Pendolino trains. On my way north I had no problems putting my bag in it, but it didn’t fit on the way back when I sat at the end of the carriage on the way back.

So where was I? Oh yes, thinking. Well, I realised how much I like being up North than down South. I felt relaxed, and happy. It may have been the company, I don’t know, but I certainly felt more peaceful.

The thought of fighting my way through London sickened me. Rightly so, as I had to force my way through the scrum of humanity on my way to Victoria train station. You don’t really want to care about anyone else. On the tube back there was one person who just stood in the middle of carriage in everyone’s way. They were shocked that when I got up from my seat I made them sit down before I moved on.

I suppose it is a mixture of the euphoria of being somewhere else, and my memories of Huddersfield. But people did seem nicer up there. Also, sitting in a mixed stand during the game, how the ribbing between fans was tongue in cheek. Maybe it was because I didn’t have to think about work for two days.

Maybe I should take the hint and move back up North.

Of course, this would involve me getting off my big backside and actually do something about it. Never going to happen, especially with everything going on in my life.

Bye for now

I've had fun this week helping the police with their enquires. You'll be happy to know that for once I wasn't a suspect. We had some things stolen and I helped the police with the CCTV system, and finding out how they got into the building (they used a school id card).

We were able to get the equipment back, and I was able to pull off the names and addresses of two accomplises (mainly as they but their personal details on the computers). Professor Moriarty would be spinning in his grave.

It gave me a wonderful insight into how the police works in such matters. I was told that unless we could tell them who did it they wouldn't be able to find out. Fortunately we could.

A special shout out to Mark Jordan (he told me he likes being mentioned), who called me an inspiration. He told me this week that I've inspired him to write 10,000 words in a week. As long as it wasn't "I must kill Emmett" 2,500 times I'm happy.

I'm becoming forgetful in my old age. During the last couple of evenings I've been opening windows in my place as it has been quite muggy recently. I keep on forgetting to close them again. Not very security minded of me. I suppose the good news is that I don't really have anything worth nicking.

Did I mention that I'm off to sunny St Helens this weekend (I'm writing this on Thursday) to see some rugby league? Go Huddersfield... It's also the opening weekend of the football league, Go Millwall. Oh, and Derry City got knocked out of europe this week, boo hiss.

Bye for now

Nothing spectacular of note but a little collection of things.

I was in London the other day, and went past Tottenham Court Road and found this sign:

Sorry but the image isn't brilliant. What it says is:

NO FOOTWAY LIVE TRAFFIC

Now call me Irish, but how often do you get either pretend or dead traffic in London? Well it brought a smile to my face.

Talking of things to make me smile. Here is a clip of the most imaginitive wedding isle walk I've seen.

Not to be outdone they've done one for their divorce.

I read today about the death of John Hughes. Master of the dodgy 1980's comedy. The BBC even did an obituary, but they missed off my favourite of his, Uncle Buck.

Well favourite scene anyway. Where he walks in on Bug (or moth whatever he was called). Let's just say it involves breaking down a door, and a drill.

I would have included a youtube clip of it, but I can't find one (and I thought youtube had everything on it).

And finally, I mentioned wipeout a couple of weeks ago, well here are the highlights:

I’ve had a great couple of days digging myself out of a hole I put myself in through a set of misunderstandings. This isn’t about blame, defending myself, or showing who is right or wrong, but rather how easily these things can go wrong.

So without further ado reason number infinity plus one why I’m useless when it comes to women.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from someone I barely knew (I’ve only met her twice). In it she stated that she had just left her job, and would like to meet up for a drink as she needed a friend at the moment.

I read this as she was having some problems and needed to talk to someone. You know me and damsels in distress. So, I replied that I had no problem about meeting up. I also asked how she was and I was told that she would rather talk face to face.

When I didn’t hear anything back about when or where for about a week, I decided to force the issue (which is a first, and I’ll wait while people recover from the shock). So I sent an email with a suggested time and place, which she agreed to.

The whole situation raised some red flags in my mind. I barely knew the person, but thought to myself that if she was taking a risk to open up to someone she didn’t know I should at least make the effort to listen. I ran through the scenario with a couple of friends to make sure I wasn’t doing anything too stupid.

Well, yesterday she emailed me to say that she wasn’t going to make it. She gave a valid reason why, which I completely ignored. My thinking became that I wanted her to know that I would be there. On reflection, I probably came across too strongly (I was being proactive again), mainly when I said that I wouldn’t be fobbed off so easily.

When I got her reply (which mentioned things like it wasn’t a date), the penny dropped and I realised that somehow I got the wrong end of the stick. She was OK and just wanted to expand her circle of friends. How much of a prat did I feel? I probably came across as some sort of sad sicko (to make matters worse I was replying fairly quickly to her emails as I was on my blackberry).

We’ve been able to smooth things over now, after much coughing, spluttering and apologising. But it goes to show how easy it is to pick up the wrong thing, and how easily it gets out hand.

And people wonder why I’m so inactive when it comes to women.

Bye for now

Ten signs that you've been a nurse too long:

1. You believe that chocolate is a food group.
2. You believe in aerosol spraying of prozac.
3. You've called in sick on a full moon.
4. You know how to say bedpan in five different languages.
5. Discussing dismemberment is normal at the meal table.
6. You admire a stranger's veins.
7. You aren't sure who your boss is.
8. You have restrained someone, and it wasn't a sexual experience.
9. You believe that "shallow gene pool", should be a diagnosis.
10. You have ever bet on someone's blood/alcohol level.

A hospital is a place where they wake you at five in the morning to give you a sleeping pill.

I laughed the whole way through my operation. My surgeon had me in stitches.

How is a hospital gown like insurance?
You're never covered as much as you think you are.

Why did Paddy get thrown out of the hospital?
After two days he took a turn for the nurse.

What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A doctopus.

What's the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Always guard your rear while you're in hospital. Remember, you're in enema country.

I can't believe that he's in hospital. I only saw him yesterday with a blonde.
So did his wife.

Bye for now

The mind is a wonderous thing. Each one is unique, with some more unique than others (especially mine).

When I have a number of things in my mind, my thoughts become segmented. I will have three or four thoughts happening randomly, and even those thoughts won't be sequential. Sometimes I'll have a solution to a situation, then have to back track in my mind how I'm meant to get there.

I sometimes spend more time reorganising my thoughtsm than thinking about a problem in the first place. The next time you see me standing there looking confused, it's probably because my brain is firing things at the rest of me quicker than I can keep up with myself.

Over the almost six months that I've been writing this, my mind has been doing more and more.

Sometimes, I'll have ideas for three or four posts at the same time. Even with writing them down I still get so muddled up sometimes that they become unusable and I have to start all over again.

Incomplete thoughts seem to have become my new hobby.

Like all men, I cannot multitask. My head works on the principal of multi threading rather than parallel processing. A little bit of thinking on a range of ideas.

Maybe this is because I'm easily distracted. It has become more difficult for me to get things off without going off on a tangent a few times. It's not that I don't have the attention span, but I have to use more energy to keep myself going. Anything going on around me makes me stop.

For a long time I would listen to music while writing. It was really background noise which was happening off screen, and it would allow me to drift off to where I could write. I've found now that I have to write in silence as I get distracted by the music, either with singing along or fast forwarding through things that I don't want to listen to.

I'm a firm believer that our minds are nutured. We are a product of our experiences. Our mind changes, and the way we think comes from where we are ourselves mentally. Maybe I just need to be more organised.

It'll never happen.

Bye for now

I received a very interesting email today from Harlequins Rugby League club. offering the company I work for the opportunity for buying ten tickets for a game next weekend for fifty pounds.

But that's not all. They'll thrown in four tickets for the Challenge Cup final as well. So that works out at (let me take my shoes off for a moment to help me count), about three pounds sixty a ticket. Huh!

I'll get to the economics of it in a sec, so bare with me a moment.

As you already know, I went to university in Huddersfield. Which, of course, is the home of rugby league. So even though I'm not an expert on league, I do understand how the game works.

It is funny though, I'm going up to the semi final this weekend (Huddersfield v St Helens), so some tickets for the final may come in useful. More useful if Saints win though, as I know more Saints fans.

But going back to the beginning. I'm left to wonder how a club can make money out of such a deal. They're probably hoping for long term support, but it doesn't really make that much sense.

League down here in London has really struggled for support over the years. For a long time the London Broncos (as they were then) or Fulham (going further back) were a bit of a club without a home. Even though they are owned by one of London's union teams, it still feels more as a novelty.

So will I be taking up this offer. I'm very tempted, if I knew that the Giants were going to be in the final, it would be worth it. We'll have to wait and see.

Bye for now

First week back at work after a two week break. It has been very tiring, my job list is quite long and seems to be growing. I've just got to get my head down and get on with it, I suppose.

I had a bit of an argument with my electricity suppliers this week. I got an estimate bill which was about four times larger than it should have been. When I phoned them up with a manual reading of the meter, I was told that it would count towards my next bill. Huh? After much complaining I've got them sending me a proper bill.

I forgot that my debit card changed over yesterday. I went into London with the idea that I was going to get a couple of things. The good news was I realised my mistake on the way into London. So rather than shop I ended up walking around looking at the things I can't afford. Cheaper in the short term, but it gives me ideas. Never a good thing.

In answer to the question about my geek book. I've made a note of it and I'll bring it with me the next time I'm going up to lovely Huddersfield.

Oh, this is a spoiler. I would like to think the nice person who gave me a joke book. So I've got a whole new set of material for my Jokes of the Week post. You've been warned.

I've been playing again with the design of the blog. You will also notice an extra link on the blog list. I'm trying something completely different. I'm writing a dummy blog of what happens when a new flu pandemic appears.

I'm just writing it to see how and if it works. Nothing happens if you don't experiment... Hopefully, you will notice over time, that I'm writing it in a slightly different style. The posts will be short, in more of a style of a diary.

And finally. There may be a disruption to the normal posting service over the next two weeks. I've got quite a bit on at the moment, and I'm also away the next couple of weekends. So if things are a bit more sporatic than normal. I'm busy having a life, as unbelievable as that counds.

Bye for now

In Formula One news this week, Michael Schumacher is back. I had forgotten that Schumi won his last five world championships in a row (for some reaon I thought that Mikka Hakkinen won a championship in the middle, see what I know).

At the moment the Ferrari car is a bit behind the pace. However, Schumacher's greatest strength was that he was able to make a car go faster than it should. If you look back to his early days at Ferrari, the number of times he looked like he was wringing the neck out of his car was amasing.

I'm not too sure what this says about the standard of drivers in Formula One, but Ferrari have two test drivers. Couldn't one of them step in? This is really a side effect of the ban on in season testing. The larger teams want known quantities, which can get the best out of the car.

I wouldn't be surprised if he wins a race, rather than struggle. What do you expect from a tame racing driver? Best of luck, and I hope it goes well.

Mentioning sporting comebacks, did anyone see the Tour De France this year? Lance Armstrong finished third. He was retired for what, three, three and a half years. He recently came back from a broken collar bone, and he still finished third.

Yes, he no longer has the burst of speed on the mountains. Considering racing 2,000 miles aound mainland Europe, going up and down mountains being powered by nothing more than your two legs. Still finishing third, ahead of riders ten years older than you. Simply amazing.

Rumours of me coming out of retirement to make a comeback for the London Electricity Ohm Runners, are greatly exaggerated.

Bye for now

Well, not quite. I have mentioned one tainted sport, and I better mention the other one. For those of you who don't know, it seems that David Ortiz (Big Papi) is one of the names on the posiitve list from 2003.

I've said this once, and I will say it again. Whoever knows all the names on the list, will you release them all already? Please. This drip drip of names is going to put everyone off. The sooner all the names are in the open the better.

But going back to the point, does this taint the Red Sox victories of 2004 & 2007. Yes, but I think the greater issue is that everything is tainted. Can you really trust any numbers during the so called steroid era? I'm becoming more cynical rapidly about this.